It’s weird when you sometimes try to ignore something that’s inevitable. You try to live in the present and not think about the future. All bloody inspirational books and quotes use to tell me that so I thought ‘What the heck’, I will try to live in the present too. So I stopped ignoring the obvious and started to live this dream, this make belief fantasy that I had created. I have tried to ignore this fact for more than two years now, and now when I am face to face with this fact, it broke me down. I am not sure why. As I said this was bound to happen. I knew it was bound to happen. Probably the timing was unexpected for me and I wasn’t ready for it. But come to think of it I would never have been ready for it. So, better late than never right?
The problem was that I never thought of it. I was living the dream. And when the dream came to an end I didn’t wanted to wake up. And now I have this gut wrenching pain that I can’t get rid, however may I try to. What are we supposed to do when you face a situation like this? I guess the easier option would be to stop living. But I always believed and sponsored that was something a coward does. Now I have to decide that ‘Am I a coward?’ or am I strong enough to dust myself up and fight against adversity. And even if I decide to stand up and fight, for how long can I do it? I have been a positive person all my life, see good in everything, tried to think better of everything. But how long can a positive person survive in this world? There will be a day when it will bring me down, when I will give up and let go. I won’t be myself that day. But until then I will try to fight with every last ounce of blood left in my body, with every last shred of flesh in my body. Because I am not a COWARD!
Zesty.
7 years ago
U can enevr be a coward. Do wat your heart says n always b brave enuf to bear the consequences. THe positive thinkr utlimately survives in this world, never loose out on things for the fear of breaking down one day! Take care n keep writing, love to read a lot more soon!
ReplyDeletehmm....wish i were more like you..but well it is difficult to always live in the present, though i don't say planning always work but yes anticipation of a problem might prepare you sometimes. A better way of being positive is not to day dream for an ideal world but try to find positivity in what is given and so that your center for happiness is flexible. again its always easier said than done ;) but since you are inherently positive, you have better chances of success :)
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